Baby Blues......somewhere over the rainbow

I'm concerned about the number of parents I encounter who are suffering from a sense of despondency.

These are well seasoned parents, who missed out on the initial post baby blues, but are now getting a taste of it in the teen years. They are grappling with issues for which they have had no experience or training. But isn't parenting supposed to be a magical, mystery tour that so many people readily embark on it? Not so it seems.

Parenting a teen is certainly adventurous, even dangerous!  It's a game where the players are mismatched - youth versus oldies; raging hormones v adrenaline in slow motion; chaos on legs v creaky joints. Many a parent comes to see me suffering from a variety of complaints relating to the mini-adults in their care.

In order to illustrate a point, my first question is to ask them whether they found the birthing process problem and pain free. Mothers, in particular, report that it was horrifically painful and the latter stages of pregnancy were no picnic! The are referring to the physical pain of the process from conception to delivery - that is a given. However, the pain and pangs of child-raising plague parents nearly all of their life. The physical pain disappears as soon as the baby is placed in their parents' arms but the emotional pain is just starting.

It starts as a little trickle of worry over how much they eat / sleep and then progresses to how long they're spending with friends / on the telephone / internet etc. As the dear little things hit puberty things get even worse and there's a communication breakdown since teenagers speak in foreign tongues - the language of hardened guerillas. The fresh cherub-like face with winking  dimples and a scatter of freckles is replaced with a visage that is covered in spots or make-up. I speak not only of physiological but psychological changes in a teenager. A teenager is no longer cute to its parents and no where is the generation gap wider than in these years. Technology exacerbates this problem by deeping the gulf betwen parent and teen.  Parents tend to forget that they were teenagers once and teens forget that they may be parents someday.

So dear patients, I trust I have made it clear. The physical pain of child bearing is replaced with the emotional pain of child rearing and this can last 25 years (or more!). Since this is a lifetime's devotional work its important to find effective pain relief.

This will eventually come when parents let go.....of their outdated attitudes, the need to be right, the  right to be reproachful  and simply listen. Listen to the carefree laughter of your teens, think of the untravelled road of life that lies in front of them and aim to be more like them (instead of trying to make them like you). Your children are on life's highway and so are you. Shed those blues and think of your teens becoming well adjusted adults. Embrace the highs and lows of teen parenting and remember that a rainbow always follows the rain!

Dr D

Eat, Pray and......... Kick Ass!

As you know, I'm an unorthodox  practitioner. I believe that it's my duty to challenge the established way of thinking, moreover the traditional thinking of my esteemed colleagues.

 A balanced diet is of primary importance. You are what you eat....and when I see some of my patients....I can immediately tell the Spare Ribs, the Neapolitan Pizzas, the Big Macs right through to the Chicken Tikka Masalas. In the waiting room of my surgery, I see a vast array of convenience food all wrapped up in human packaging. It's sad to see the poor souls who are hopelessly addicted to anything unhealthy. In sharp contrast, I'm happy to report that I have many healthy patients who know that their body is a temple and treat it with due respect.

I'm a medic who unashamedly prescribes a mild dose of religion as a means of healing broken souls.
It's good to pray.....but be careful with your prayers...since they rarely go unanswered. Do not ask for more things but wisdom to know how to manage and enjoy the things you already have. Once you have learnt this then more will come into your life.

Eating (healthily) and praying (mindfully) should help greatly in furthering your spiritual ambitions but there is something else. I know that good people are de-railed by the less enlightened. These are friendly souls who have come to put resistance in your path. Tolerance in the face of adversity is a great virtue but it sometimes misses the mark. There are those who are so hardened as to see kindness as a weakness. In such cases, I recommend that you administer a swift ass kick which will ensure that the message is received...loud and clear. Honest and spontaneous action (on the butt) speaks a thousand words.

Holistically yours,

Dr D

Love and other drugs

Love and other drugs

Love makes the world go around….as do many other intoxicants as any tripping Ecstasy user will tell you. Drugs are said to have a powerful effect on the psyche and love is no exception. LSD, Heroin and Crack cocaine provide a brief hallucinatory respite from the daily grind and love is also used for escapist purposes.

Each year on Valentines Day sales of cards, flowers and love trinkets experience a boost as all thoughts turn to love. We speak of romantic love and the euphoria it brings. Lovers holding hands and kissing in the moonlight will make even the hardened realist a little mushy inside.

As a doctor, I can state without reservation, that love is the best medicine. A little love in your life can make your eyes shine and your heart glow. There is no better blood cleansing agent than the look of love. When a patient comes to me, and it is usually with a minor complaint, I know immediately whether he or she is in love. There’s a lightness in the soul that is infectious.

Naturally love takes many forms and the object of your particular desire may not be flesh and blood. It may be a book, a painting, rays of sunshine or a blanket of glistening snow that sets your heart aflutter. In fact, the soul is refreshed by any of these things.

I look at love whenever I look in the mirror and that’s what I recommend for you. To gaze inwards and outwards at the beloved is the greatest therapy of all. I have found that love is a healing force that can often become toxic if misused - so my advice is to handle with care and choose the object of your desire wisely.

Marriage is Mental

Marriage is Mental

A great number of my patients are married. Nothing surprising about that but what is surprising is the number who remain in marriages when they are deeply unhappy. The need to live a lie and lie to yourself is a symptom of low self-esteem.  The core beliefs you hold about yourself (many of them being detrimental to a healthy self image) give rise to a numerous psychosomatic disorders.

Patients come to me with a variety of complaints : backache, migraines, hypertension,  and whilst  I listen sympathetically my approach is to get to the root of the problem. When the spirit is disturbed there are negative, physiological consequences.  Your health is supported (or not!) by the choices you make in life. This extends from the profession you choose, the food you eat and your life partner. These choices shape your emotional landscape and, from what I see, our back gardens and living areas need a serious overhaul!

It should be mandatory for all married people to engage in some holisitic therapy, a series of soul searching weekends to find out whether they share co0mpatible ideologies. Life is changing at a rapid pace and so does the person you live with, as are you. This change is underestimated by traditional marriage guidance counsellors and the church. These professionals attempt to keep a marriage intact and believe that it is a sin “in God’s eyes” to break such a union. This is skewed thinking and is the cause of many couples to continue with the lie and take the next generation down a similar path.

I am a non-traditionalist professional. I question the practitioners. I look for new ways to age old problems. I do not advise warring couples to stay together. It’s a mistake to think you can change another person. Better to part and give each other the opportunity to truly find themselves and change into their heart’s desire. Society may makes laws and judgements but the soul is self-directed and non-conformist. No one can know what is best for you – except you.

My prescription for a failing marriage is for both parties to do whatever it is that will bring them peace. If there is no peace then there is no love. Two people sharing a living space is quite different to sharing their hearts and minds. Who do you let in to your mind space? If it’s not your wife/husband then it’s time to let go…..

Until next time......

Dr D

Physician.....heal thyself!

Dear Patients

I'd like to welcome you to my virtual surgery which is open all hours, has a sympathetic receptionist and a compassionate and caring doctor at the helm - that's me - truly yours.
There's no need to make an appointment since I'm at your disposal.......as a humble servant who is dedicated to curing the incurables. There are no budgets, fees or any nasty cutbacks.....just make yourself comfortable and tell me all.

But first let me tell you how all of this got started. I'm a physician who has travelled an unorthodox route into the world of medicine......and what a can of worms I've opened....where nothing is as it seems.
Doctors don't usually tell the truth and, though I risk being struck off, I 'll give it to you straight without any sugar coating.

I believe in the power of self-healing and I believe in the power of the individual. We are blessed with the most powerful inbuilt pentium processor - our minds - and when we hook them up to our souls there's nothing we can't achieve.

I've healed myself without resorting to any drugs......from dependency to complete independence....from insecurity to stability.....from low self esteem to full blown confidence....from a lack lustre complexion to a radiant bloom.....from austerity to prosperity.....from chaos to serenity.......

You're dealing with someone who walks the walk as well as talks it......so read my blog and soak up my unique therapies.......

Wholeheartedly yours,
Dr Dhamma